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Have you heard of Sartalics?

Not too long ago I was complaining about the difficulties of conveying sarcasm in writing. Now I find out three interns are attempting to solve this problem with Sartalics! Sartalics is a reverse italics font, which is just like italics but leaning left instead of right.

To make their campaign known, the interns are gathering a Twitter mob of 10,000 people to simultaneously tweet at tech giants Yahoo, Google, Twitter, Facebook, Microsoft, Tumblr, YouTube and Apple. The tweet “@(company name and person in charge of decisions at said company) needs a sarcasm font style option way more than another layout update! #nosarcasm.” will be sent automatically when the campaign hits 10,000 participants. Last I saw, the Sartalics twitter account had 2,304 followers already.

Let’s all join the twitterblitz for Sartalics!

 

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I’m like a superhero and I didn’t know it.

My mom always made fun of me saying I liked to suffer because I would wait for a headache to get stronger before taking any medication. She thought I should take something right away, but I always thought I should try other things first. What if it was because I was tired? Or hungry? Or because of my period? So I always waited until it was obvious I needed to do something. The reason for that was that our bodies get used to medication, and soon you need a stronger dose to have the same effect. I didn’t like that.

But one day, at work, my headache was getting too strong, so I took the medicine I had in my purse. I didn’t work. A colleague gave me something else, some other headache medicine. It also didn’t work. After trying quite a few different ones, with all having no result, I finally decided to walk to a pharmacy a couple blocks away to buy something stronger. One of my colleagues offered to walk me there and I’m glad I didn’t refuse her help, because I didn’t get even half-way there and had to sit on the sidewalk, unable to keep going. I didn’t know, but I was having a migraine.

Migraines. Because the world is so much brighter when you're in pain. Literally.

The doctor said I should be glad, because my migraine usually only lasts twenty-five years. Usually. What a wonderful word; usually. As in not always, or in it could last longer. Yay, me, right? That means I only have another fifteen years to go and then I’ll be migraine free. Probably. Since I’m not usually a lucky gal, I’m not going to bet on that.

Anyway, having a migraine can differ from person to person, so here’s how mine usually go: First my senses get sharper. I hear better (even sounds others can’t) and then I feel like someone’s sticking a knife behind one of my eyeballs, trying to get my eye out of its socket. But they seem pretty inefficient, since they just keep poking and poking and my eye never falls out. Sometimes I debate whether or not I should use my fingernails to help them get the job done, but I usually end up deciding not to.

The lights bother a little. They feel like little – and when I say little I mean very sharp – daggers being shot straight into my eyes. Oh, fun. I remember having to park my car in the middle of nowhere one night just to close my eyes and wait for the medicine to work, because there was no way I could keep driving with the headlights from the other cars shooting daggers at me. And you have no idea how good you feel, sitting in a car in the middle of nowhere, crying your eyes out, hoping nothing worse happens. Fun times.

There’s usually also this pressure on the side of my head that feels like a metal compressor is trying to make my head a bit more compact. Touching my temples hurt. Not touching my temples hurt. Crying hurt. Holding the tears back hurt. Closing my eyes hurt. Keeping them open hurt. If I do nothing, my mind can’t stop thinking about the migraine, and that doesn’t help much. Trying to read is painful, plus I can’t really concentrate. Forget singing, even if it’s in your head and not out loud. Well, since your head is the center of your pain, pretty much anything involving using your head hurts. I can’t sleep, because it hurts, but being awake hurts. As you see, it’s a win-win situation. Win-win as in, no matter what I do, the migraine will always win.

One thing that helps is pressing my temples against something cold. It reduces the pain until the medicine kicks in. At least it keeps me from going insane and banging my head against the wall until I break it. Break the wall, of course, because at this point I’m pretty sure my skull is unbreakable, or it would have been already reduced to dust.

But hey, for as long as my migraine lasts, and even a little before it starts, my auditory senses are really sharp. It’s like I’m a superhero or something, since I can hear noises others can’t. The first few times people thought I was going crazy. I understand them. It’s hard to keep a straight face when the girl pressing the side of her head tells you to stop the buzzing sound and you can’t hear a thing. Now I’m used to the new sounds I hear. I just stopped telling people about them, because it certainly freaks them out. Too bad it ends with the postdrome, which is the phase after a migraine. Oh, yeah, because the migraine don’t just leave you away after it’s over, it just turns into this hangover that lasts a few days. Fun, right?

So when I feel a migraine coming, I take my pills. And the only medicine that works, at least for me, is Excedrin Migraine. Oh, and did you hear the big news? There was a recall. Excedrin Migraine is no longer being sold in the US. Well, at least for the time being. Can you guess how much I’m looking forward to my next migraine? Oh, it will be so much fun.

P.S.: I could really use that sarcasm font just about now.

 

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O Sarcasm Font, Where Art Thou?

Watch your words. Once you give them life, they can only be forgiven, never forgotten.

I think it’s so funny how people often forget the power words have. A simple word can damage someone’s self-esteem. It can harm someone more than any punch you can throw. The right word, can make or break us.

“The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right time, but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” Dorothy Nevill

Words are sticks and stones.

But not only words have power, they can also be delivered in a variety of ways, and the inflection used can be the difference between good and evil. You can say the same sentence in different ways and obtain different results every time. You can be funny, sarcastic, evil, honest. It’s all in the way you deliver what you’re thinking.

Now, how about the written word? As of now, at least to extent of my knowledge, there’s no such thing as a font for sarcasm. I’m pretty sure someone will create one sooner or later. And that someone will get rich. But for now, there’s no such thing. Therefore, the written word demands a certain special attention the spoken word doesn’t. And that’s because it comes with no facial expression or the inflection on your voice to aid the recipient in identifying its true meaning.

People think, “Of course they know what I mean. They know me. Of course that’s dripping with sarcasm.” But is it that obvious? I’ve seen so many arguments start with a misinterpreted text or email, I can’t even count. People think they are so clever, but they are just being hurtful. Then they use the excuse that they are only responsible for what they say, not for what others understand. I can see that, to a certain extent, but I think the more correct thought process would be to say I’m responsible for what I say and the way in which I say it. And I’m responsible for giving it the meaning it should carry.

“We may have the right to free speech, but speech is not entirely free. There are always consequences for what we say, whether or not we realize our impact.” Amy Jane

Recently I received an email that hurt me. It contained hurtful words and it was quite disturbing, since it came from someone really close to me. So I replied to it. And this person told me, “Oh, that was not my intention.” Well, to this person, the only thing I have to say is, it doesn’t matter what you intended, but the end result of what you said. It’s easy to say things and then just say, “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.” No, you didn’t mean to. But that was what you accomplished. And apologizing for your words won’t make them go away.

To all those people, I’m sorry that I heard what you said, not what you meant. Next time be more clear about what your real intentions are.

P.S.: I surely believe the world needs a sarcasm font. As soon as possible.

 

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