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Tag Archives: Jenny Lawson

And then this finally happened

And so I went to a book signing. And it was awesome!

It was for Jenny Lawson’s Let’s Pretend This Never Happened paperback book tour. She told us a bit about other signings from her book tour, read a chapter of her book, and answered questions from the audience. Jenny was amazing. She handled it like a pro and made us all laugh. A lot.

And yes, that is Copernicus the homicidal monkey trying to steal my book. Not happening, Copernicus.

 

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Life is about the little things that make us happy, right?

Sorry about the last post, people. I was feeling down and just had to vent a little. I try to remind myself that things happen when they are supposed to happen, that there’s a reason for everything, and that there’s also a right time for everything, and that it’s not up to us to decide when and how things are going to happen. I believe that if I’m here and if things are the way they are is because that’s how it’s all supposed to be. Not that I think we should all sit back and wait for everything to just magically solve itself, but that there are things we can’t control simply because we can’t really grasp all the future consequences of our choices.

We constantly ask ourselves if things would be different had we chosen a different path, and to that I think the answer is yes, things would be. Had I married my high school sweetheart I would be in a completely different place right now. Had I married my ex-fiance I would have never moved here. Had I not decided to move from my hometown to a place where I literally knew no one, things would certainly not be the same. But can I say things would be better? No, I can’t. And to be honest, I believe that I am exactly where I’m supposed to be. No, things didn’t turn out the way I expected them to, but they are a result of the choices I made in life. And for now that’s good enough for me.

So moving on, guess what great news I have just received that made me do a little happy dance? I’ll be seeing Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess in March! She’ll be on a book tour and will finally come to my town! Not only that, but she’ll be here on a day I can actually go see her. It’s the “now in paperback” book tour of her book (well, what else could it be, right?). In case you’re wondering, yes, I do have her book (hardcover) already, and yes, I will be getting a new one (paperback). Why? Because there’s a new chapter in the paperback and I just have to see it. That’s why.

Anyway, I’m really excited! It will be a great way to celebrate my birthday.

 

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Fighting yourself for yourself

Because sometimes we are our worst enemies. Because the world is already full of demons we must fight, and it’s already hard enough fighting all those attacks. But when the attack comes from inside of us, it is incredibly painful.

Have you ever had to fight yourself for yourself? Or maybe this is happening with someone you know. Maybe someone who did not win the fight. I know people who did not win the fight. People who believed their internal demons.

Today Jenny posted the following video on her blog:

I like how she says she’s glad she’s broken. Aren’t we all broken? Some in some ways, some in others, but we are all damaged somehow. Something has happened or is happening, it doesn’t matter. We are all broken. And if we are all broken, doesn’t that put us all in the same boat?

So don’t leave. I won’t if you don’t.

 

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Because we all have stories we’d like to pretend never happened.

The book for intellectual misfits.

Remember when I was so excited because I started reading the book that’s like laughing at a funeral? Well, I just finished reading it. If I were to be honest, I could have finished this book a few days ago, but I wanted to take my time, to savor it. I was never one to enjoy reading something too fast. I believe part of the fun in reading a book is when you catch yourself pausing at a random sentence in the book to think about what’s in there. And this happened a lot when I was reading this book.

No, I never found myself with my arm stuck inside a cow’s vagina, or got a bathtub full of baby raccoons for my birthday, but I had my fair share of embarrassing moments in life. But I think we all do, right? Can’t you think of one single moment of your life that if told someone would make you feel like a weirdo?

I could tell you about the time I was dressed as a homeless person as a child and was blinded by stage lights on someone’s shoulder. I was on that person’s shoulder, not the lights. Why would someone have stage lights on their shoulder? That’s just ridiculous.

Or I could tell you about waking up before the sun to drink carrot juice. Okay, maybe that’s not so insane, but it was this orange thing that had a hard time leaving the glass, since my grandmother refused to add water to it, so it was almost like baby food in a glass. And she’d wait for you to drink it all before she’d let you fall back asleep. My uncles had perfected the skill, and would drink without even waking up. I had to fight the urge to throw up. Fun times.

Or I could tell you about when I ran through a glass door and only realized what had happened when I saw all the blood. Best seventh birthday in the history of ever! It involved broken glass, stitches, a broken key, and popping balloons under my dress while this strange guy fixing our door had birthday cake with us.

Hey, remember how I started talking about a book and all of a sudden changed it to talking about myself? Yeah, that’s how that book goes. Well, it won’t talk about me, but it does talk about the weirdest things and at moments makes you wonder if she’s still talking about the same thing she was in the beginning of the chapter. If you’re ADD you’ll love it! It’s just like an ADD mind works. Or maybe you’ll get even more lost than usual, hard to tell. It worked for me, though.

This book made me laugh so loud my neighbors probably wondered what was wrong with me. Especially when I’d cry a few minutes later reading about how she saved her daughter from being attacked by potentially wild dogs. By the way, that chapter gave me nightmares. I had a dream where my mom was bitten by animals and then they found a tooth inside her foot and I yelled at her for not telling me about it and letting me find out about something like that through my half-brother, who’s not even her son to begin with. Insane! I mean, I’d never yell at my mom. Ever.

Anyway, if you want to laugh, and cry, and basically find out you’re not the weirdest person alive, buy the book! Now! To me, the message of the book is: we all have our own embarrassing stories we’d like to forget about, to erase from our memories, but the truth is, we are who we are because of them. Cherish them, don’t hide them.

 

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The book that’s like laughing at a funeral.

After months of waiting, it’s finally here. Today my copy of Let’s Pretend This Never Happened (A Mostly True Memoir) by Jenny Lawson finally arrived. I pre-ordered it back in November and it seems like forever since that happened. It was released on April 18, and today I got it in the mail. Awesome!

Later I’ll do a review on the book, after I read it, of course. But for now, I want to let you with something to look forward to, so I’m going to copy something from the back flap about the book and its author. I’m sure this is okay, since it’s not from the inside of the book. Besides, it’s all in her blog for all to see anyway. Here it is:

Let’s Pretend This Never Happened is a poignantly disturbing yet darkly hysterical tome for every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud. Like laughing at a funeral, this book is both irreverent and impossible to hold back once you get started.

Known for her sardonic wit and her hysterically skewed outlook on life, Jenny Lawson has made millions of people question their own sanity, as they found themselves admitting that they, too, often wondered why Jesus wasn’t classified as a zombie, or laughed to the point of bladder failure when she accidentally forgot that she had mailed herself a cobra. Lawson’s blog (TheBloggess.com) is award-winning and extremely popular, and she is considered one of the funniest writers of our generation by at least three or four people.

Now, tell me, aren’t you at least a bit curious? Or are you one of those, like me, who already bought your own copy of her book?

 

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Zombie apocalypse. Because you can never be too prepared for it.

First of all, if you’re thinking the zombie apocalypse won’t come, that’s actually pretty great. You’ll be unprepared and I won’t have to feel bad for tripping you. Hey, it’s a matter of survival. I need to buy me some time, after all. But I do apologize in advance for having to shoot you in the head. I will have to. For your own good.

Anyway, after seeing The Bloggess talking about the zombie apocalypse on CNN, I just had to write about it. Because, come on, everyone can see there’s a great need to be prepared for the it. Only the news lady could laugh at such an important matter. The CDC has already talked about how to prepare for it, and even Fox News and The Washington Post talked about it. Because, they know it’s coming.

There are even scientific reasons for the zombie apocalypse, such as brain parasites or neurotoxins, and not even the most skeptical person can argue with science. In fact, there’s probably a scientist out there, mixing rabies with an old meatloaf and feeding it to a gorilla right now as you read this. But whatever the cause is, we’ll still need to be prepared.

So learn how to put together a survival kit and a few other tricks that could be useful. Don’t forget to always wear seatbelts and always check the back seat. Be sure to practice using your weapon of choice beforehand. And document everything. Because one day people will want to know where were you during the zombie apocalypse. You wouldn’t want to forget the details to that. Trust me.

Because if you're ready for the zombie apocalypse, then you're ready for any emergency.

I really think schools should start doing zombie apocalypse drills. Until then, we can certainly do our own.

P.S.: Although it’s not the zombie apocalypse yet, I’m currently getting ready for a tornado. I’ll be pretending I’m hiding from zombies. It will be way more fun that way. Just not so bloody, I hope.

 

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If I were John Cusack I’d build Robot Spiders.

A few weeks ago Jenny, a.k.a. The Bloggess, invited everyone on the internet to a party in her bathroom. Her friends’ band, Dr. Pants, was going to do a set in her bathroom and broadcast it live (you can watch the webcast here), so we could all enjoy it from the comfort of our own couch. Or bathroom. Your choice, really. It was the #pantsdance party. Nothing unusual there. Well, unless you’re not familiar with her. Or twitter. If you’re familiar with twitter I doubt something like this would sound weird to you.

Since I didn’t really know the band, I decided to check a few of the songs she mentioned. By the names of some of them I was already intrigued. Who would like a song called “If I were John Cusack“? Which, by the way, was the first song I listen to. And  that was all it took for me to want more.

So I checked their website, found out more about them, and even got a feel free songs. Oh, yeah, they have songs you can download for free from their website. And you can also just click on the songs and listen to them right there. For free, y’all! But careful, because once you start, you’ll want more. It’s like when drug dealers give you a sample for you to try for free just so you’ll get hooked and spend all your money on their stuff. At least that’s what I’ve heard, anyway. Apparently I walk around with the wrong crowd, since no one have ever offered me drugs, free or otherwise.

But if you ask my opinion, music is the best kind of drug there is. Oh, and Dr. Pants is releasing a new EP 4/28, which I can’t wait to hear. But until then we can just listen to Robot Spiders right here:

And yes, that is the link to download Robot Spiders for free. *winks*

 

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